Think or Know?

I like to fiddle with words. Fiddling helps me learn how best to use words, or use them most appropriately. Too often people use the wrong word and that’s the root of miscommunication. Lying is not the biggest problem, unintended obfuscation is. “What’s that?” you ask. Thanks for asking.

Someone once said that less is more, that someone probably wasn’t a banker or an IRS agent. Most people when asking a yes or no question don’t ask a yes or no question. For example – “Are you going to the game tonight? We are because my cousin’s daughter’s boyfriend’s first cousin knows the guy who works in the concession stand.” The asker simply wanted to know if the other person was going to the game, but they went on to qualify the reason for their going to the game and odds are the question never got answered and was followed up with – “Oh, when I was in high school I used to work in the concession stand.” And then the person who originally asked the question would respond. “Me too. I used to put too much salt in the popcorn and increase soda sales.” And the conversation would continue until their high school years were sufficiently embellished and relived. A simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer would have saved everyone a good deal of time. That’s an example of less being more.

But that’s not my point. Try this experiment. Instead of asking someone, “What do you think about Herman Cane?” Ask them, “What do you know about Herman Cane?” And you don’t have to ask about Herman Cane, you can ask about Obama Care or heck, even the alien spacecraft that landed in Roswell. You’ll notice that the simple substitution of ‘know’ instead of ‘think’ will drastically change the tenor of the response. Why is that? Glad you asked.

Thinking is essentially the act of forming thoughts based on knowledge. But you’ll notice how people will go on adnauseam about things which they know little about when asked what they think. But ask them what they know and you’ll turn a gadfly into a mute.

I’m reminded of a quote I read in the book Hoskilonians – “After all is said and done, more is usually said than done.”

Say what you mean, mean what you say, don’t obfuscate; that’s for the politicians.

Occupy Your Street

Occupy Wall Street has been going on for nearly a month. Thousands of mostly New Age hippies are protesting for what they know not. Many of their assertions are correct, in that there’s too much of an alliance between Wall-Street and K Street but there are two major problems with the movement.

The group doesn’t understand that government policy, through regulation, played a large role in the failure of the largest corporations. For the bank failure one needs to look no further than the Community Reinvestment Act and the role that Freddie and Fannie played in providing the banks a place to sell their high risk loans. So, in a sense, the government forced banks to make high risk loans and when those loans failed, the government had a fiduciary responsibility to participate in the loss. A large part of many bank’s bad business was forced upon them by the government. Most banks did not voluntarily make zero money down loans to people with incomes too small to support the payment.

The same holds true, to some degree, for General Motors. The CAFÉ standards dictate a minimum MPG for all auto manufacturers. And GM, being the oldest and biggest has the greatest challenge in meeting the CAFÉ standards, particularly since GM sells best its large cars. Should car manufacturers be required to produce cars with reduced emissions? Yes, but at what cost and to what degree? And then there’s the right to work issue with which GM must deal.

The point is, the federal government has foisted a good deal of costs upon the major drivers of the American Economy. The above are just a couple of examples; there are more. The question is who is influencing whom? Does Wall Street influence K Street? And If so, why would Wall Street lobby for laws that make America less competitive? And if K Street rules, then why would they lobby for laws that cast America in a less than competitive position?

Who’s in charge? Who’s influencing whom? Are all bankers greedy? Are all lobbyists criminal? Are all Congressmen corrupt? Is government the problem or the solution?

These are tough questions, the resolution of which requires deep thought. I’ve yet to see a protestor that appears to be a deep thinker, maybe a deep inhaler, but deep thinking, I think not.

It has been said the all politics are local. So what could the occupiers do to help themselves and their local community? That brings me to the second point that the latte drinking, deep inhalers are missing.

Small business, not Wall Street, account for 75% of all new jobs. Small businesses employ the majority of all Americans. Small businesses create the majority of non-farm GDP in America. So, if they want to help America and create jobs they should occupy their hometown streets and shop local. When a $100 is spent at a locally owned business, $68 of that stays local. Rather than Occupy Wall Street, Occupy Your Street. Go to - www.independentwestand.org for more facts regarding locally owned business.

Planking

On a recent visit with my wife’s family, and I stress it was my wife’s family; I was introduced to a new phenomenon that’s apparently sweeping the nation. The adult children of the couple we were visiting had made a recent visit whereupon they shared with their parents this new fad. Upon our arrival we were forced to succumb to repeated demonstrations. Of course I’m talking about planking - http://www.planking.me/.

Planking is simply the act of lying flat, straight, arms at your side, and face down – nothing more. One’s choice of where and with whom to plank and what to plank upon is what distinguishes one plank from another.

Since that enlightening day I’ve given considerable thought to this new trend. And it is a trend because it’s certainly temporary, unlike the equally foolish but enduring practice of teepeeing, which as everyone knows is the art of tossing toilet paper into the tree bowls of one’s favorite high school teacher. I think this tradition was foisted upon us by the greedy, mischievous executives at Charmin.

Planking, for those who are interested, and that’s likely a small but distinguished group, can be divided into three categories: panzy-planking, painful-planking, and perilous-planking. And within each of those categories are two sub-categories: party planking and personal planking.

Panzy planking is when one has mustered the nerve to lie prostrate in an unusual place, but the chosen place offers no danger or discomfort. For example if one chooses to plank on a couch or park bench or car hood.

When one chooses to plank on a small object and balance themselves on say a stone or hand-rail it can cause pain and spasms. The primary point of pain is caused by focusing all of one’s weight in a very narrow central region. The intensity of pain is dependent upon the size of the fulcrum. Back spasms frequently result and the chance of spasm increases with age. This is called painful-planking.

For those lacking sufficient cognitive function there’s perilous-planking. Planking from a limb hanging out over an abyss, or on the back of a moving motorcycle qualifies one for this category. Darwin’s theory of natural elimination is sufficiently disproved by the abundance of those choosing to plank in perilous positions.

One’s first planking experience is generally part of a group. Once one gains experience and develops planking skills, the next step is the solo plank, and thus the two sub-categories.

Now you know.

Lithium Ion

In keeping with the rules of the internet I must disclose that I sell Stihl. I once worked at the Stihl factory in Germany, nearly forty years ago; they’ve since recovered. That doesn’t make me an expert on all things Stihl, but I did learn to like warm beer.

I woke up with Lithium Ion batteries on my mind. It’s probably because I’d mowed at the farm and at home the day before and had gone to bed with a dehydration induced headache.Or maybe it’s because my ears were still ringing and I was wishing my tractor was electric rather than diesel. Anyway, there’s much talk about run time and power of the Stihl battery powered units, and that got me thinking. The talk is all positive, but I’m concerned that too many miss the boat on the convenience of the battery. There’s plenty of discussion about the performance of the units and not enough about the danged battery. Stihl produces very little literature on the subject because to do a comparison between a Li-Ion product and a gasoline product is subjective and difficult. Did someone say lawyers?

So, I did my own unscientific test. It’s amazing how many scientific tests really aren’t scientific at all. For example, consider the global warming debacle. I digress; get used to it.

I have both an FS45 and an FSA65. Selling Stihl has its privileges. The FS45 has a gasoline engine and the fuel tank holds about eleven ounces of fuel mix. The FSA65 is powered by a Li-Ion battery. Stihl offers two; I have the smallest and cheapest, that’s me. I have an FS550 as well. It’s a beast but not part of the test. That’s the one that hangs prominently in my garage, next to my poster of Stan Musial; the trimmers are in the garage closet.

I normally use about two tanks of fuel per summer in the FS45; I’m not a heavy user and prefer to scrape trees with my rider rather than trim with a trimmer. This delights my wife. This summer I’ve been alternating between both trimmers and have yet to use a full tank in the FS45 or deplete a single battery charge in the FSA65. So I decided to accelerate the test. They’re both test units; that means I don’t have to pay for them.

My laboratory was the side of my yard, a mulched area. I carefully chose that particular spot because it was in the shade. I filled the tank on the FS45 and was careful not to spill any fuel in the mulch. Spilled gasoline works even better than round-up for weed control. I charged the battery on the FSA65. I scrounged around found some twist-ties. I used the twist-ties to carefully lock the throttles on both units into the full wide-open position. The FS45 ran for 24 minutes, I was really glad when it finally stopped. The FSA65 quietly hummed along for another 5 minutes.

My findings?Neighbors stare when I conduct unscientific tests.

What does all of this mean? I’m glad you asked. Try to keep up; the following involves math. The FS45 ran for 24 minutes on 11 ounces; it would have required 13.3 ounces to run as long as the FS65A on one charge – 29 minutes. One battery is supposed to be good for over 500 charges before it begins to lose capacity. So, let’s go with the 500. Now remember, the battery lasts longer, but I chose 500 because that’s the conservative estimate.500 x 13.3 = 6650 ounces or 52 gallons of gasoline. 52 gallons at $3.5 = $182. Add in the cost of 2 cycle mix and the total fuel cost exceeds $200.

Now consider the time it takes to go to a filling station, the hassle of the mix, the flora and fauna destroyed from fuel spills, the odor in your trunk…hooboy, the list goes on. Does anyone say ‘filling station’ anymore?

One last thing – the Li-Ion trimmer is really quiet and anybody (hint, hint) can start it.

That battery is a danged good deal! And now I’m thinking the battery will probably last longer than the trimmer. And now you’re probably wondering if that same battery will run on other Stihl units. Uh-huh.

Moral Distress Scale

I was thinking. Don’t act like that’s a surprise. It’s something I catch myself doing in between episodes of “Office” and “Outsourced.” The notion of a moral distress scale was pin balling around in my mind. A moral distress scale is when someone addresses the disequilibrium that results after avoiding an ethically appropriate behavior.

Healthcare professionals frequently deal with this conundrum.  The question, is there a doctor in the house, is frequently met with those with the skills to help sinking low in their seats. Why?

Another example is when tempted to pick up a harmless looking hitchhiker but don’t do so. And then for the next few miles conjure up a long list of reasons for not offering assistance.

It didn’t used to be this way.

Solzhenitsyn is quoted as saying, “Whenever the tissue of life is woven of legalistic relationships, this creates an atmosphere of spiritual mediocrity that paralyzes man’s noblest impulses.” It seems we have reached a place where a person commits a spontaneous act of courage at his or her own risk.

Think about this, someone steals a gun, and during a subsequent criminal act uses the stolen weapon to shoot someone. The person from whom the gun was stolen could be held liable in civil court. Clear minds would hold that the shooter was responsible, but our legal system has made a sport of civil proceedings.

When I was growing up the playground equipment at the school was available all summer long. And if someone fell off the slide and needed stitches (me) they just ran home crying and their parents took them to the doctor. Now the swings are taken down and larger unmovable items are locked behind fences. What changed?

The moral distress scale concept is ludicrous. The fact that it exists is not a good sign. As individuals we can’t change the world, but we can be courageous and do the right thing.

In Good Company

I recently signed an option agreement with a production company that plans to produce a low budget movie based on my novel “The Bridge.”  And I’m now thrilled to learn that I’m in good company. A low budget production of Ayn Rand’s book “Atlas Shrugged” is being released this month. It’s no coincidence that the movie version of her book is being released on tax day.

I’m not sure what constitutes a low budget modifier, but I’m thrilled that there’s any budget for my book. Poor Ayn passed away long ago, so the movie deal is of no consequence to her. The fact that both of our books are being made into a movie is where the similarity ends. Ayn was a world-class writer, whereas writing is something I do instead of playing golf. My books are fun to read, and Ayn’s books are scary.

For several years after publication of “Atlas Shrugged”, and as recently as 1991, a Library of Congress survey of The Book of the Month Club found that readers rated “Atlas” as the second most influential book in their lives, behind only the Bible. I doubt surveys will ever produce similar results for any of my books.

The notions put forth in “Atlas” were prescient. Keep in mind the book was published over fifty years ago. The central theme of the book deals with how politicians generally cause economic crises and then address the crises with programs that in turn cause more problems and the cascade goes on and on until the productive members of society become exasperated. The financially successful are saddled with regulation, and their success is re-distributed to the less successful.  In essence, failure is heralded, and success is penalized.

While reading the book, I was mindful of the banking fiasco caused ‘primarily’ by the community re-investment act. If you know a banker, ask them about the C.R.A. and the burden it places on banks. You’ll gain a new perspective on the financial debacle we’re presently digging out from under. And the list goes on.

“Atlas Shrugged.” Read the book before you see the movie. Oh, by the way, the movie is a trilogy. Once you see the book you’ll understand.

The Elusive Antecedent and the Noun Verb

They say that surveys show that customers respond to companies whose executives blog. Armed with this critical piece of information (from their perspective) the social networking team at CDC/BME approached me about blogging. This blog is evidence that I succumbed to pressure and blogged, but not before convincing the gel haired, tattered jeans crowd to let me choose the topics. Hooboy, was the general consensus. The conversation went like this.

“Is blog one of those nouns that have now become a verb?” I asked them. Shoulders shrugged. I explained. A blog is a web log, hence the name. I’d done my homework (googled it). And when an individual posts a blog, it’s called blogging. There, a noun and a verb all wrapped into one work. English is a very dynamic language. They signed and rolled their eyes simultaneously, as if connected by a common nerve center.

And then I dropped the bomb. “Define the antecedent.” Eyes bugged, it was as if they’d all suffered a severe onset of Graves Disease. I let them off the hook, “You know,” I said, trying to speak their language. “Who is ‘they’ in the survey?”

“People,” the one wearing a T-Shirt with chainsaws and skulls replied. Of course that cleared everything up for me. After all, the survey could have been done on heffalumps and woozles. And so it goes.

“How about I blog (write) about the decline in public courage and how our society is driven by laws rather than a Biblical moral code for my first blog?” I asked, half serious. Watching their frowning faces was like watching a time lapse. It was as if they’d aged decades in only a few seconds. “Just kidding,” I said. They started breathing again.

“How about Heirs and Innovators?” They heard errors and innovators and looked perplexed. I explained the concept of how we’re all heir to the achievements of those before us but simultaneously responsible for making a contribution for the benefit of the next generation. Being of the millennial generation, this was a new concept for them, but they thought it had merit and approved.

And so a Blog is born. And each week I’ll endeavor to concoct some stream of thought to post on our company Facebook. The goal, as I’m told, is to give our dealers a more personal glimpse of CDC/BME. Honestly, I think the millennials are fearful of what they’ve requested. I see them whispering to each other now.

I’m not sure what I’ll write about first, they (millenials) said to jot down what’s on my mind. Maybe I’ll delve into the phenomena of how financial gurus can’t seem to tie a symmetrical knot on their neck-tie, or maybe the inverse relation between show price and sole thickness. They said to check with them first, but I’m not gonna do it. I’m the boss!